Time indeed fly without us noticing it, isn't it?
Feels just like yesterday i was watching the sakura bloom in April and today September already here. Year 2012 feels like the wind. I don't even realize it's presence. And i have the feeling that by the time this year is over i wont even remember that i have lived through 2012.
In the previous years, usually at this time of the year i will have it all planned for the coming year. But this time i haven't planned anything for 2013. The prospect of year ahead seems empty and foggy. I don't even have any idea where i want to travel next year. I could say that i want to be spontaneous but who am i kidding here? I am far from spontaneous. In fact i am the opposite of spontaneous. So that leave me with only 2 possible conclusions. 2013 will be either wild or dead boring.
But if you asked me what i really wanted to do, i would say that i wish i could leave everything behind and go the other direction. I wish to go up in the mountains and meditate like the monks. I envy them. I envy the blissful life they live. But go with the flow i must.
I desperately in need of a retreat. The longer i stayed the more hateful i become. The world is slowly eating me out. Soon i'm going to lose my mind and there will be no more me. Then it will be all too late.
What a hateful world, isn't it?
Indeed a cruel, hateful world.
I need a new pair of glasses.
