Remember last time i told you that one of my new year resolution is to learn wave surfing? Well, i wish to withdraw that one. I do not wish to do that anymore. Turned out that i am actually terrified of the big vast ocean. This feeling started last January, on the New Year Day, when i went river swimming with my family. The one i told you that i think i forget how to swim? What happened actually, i was walking around this big block rock while holding onto it, the water level was around my chest, i was trying to get at the other side of the rock then suddenly i felt my foot no longer touching anything. One moment i was walking on something, next i was sinking in the bottomless. I panicked. And just as normal people would do in my situation, i struggled to swim. I didn't think, i just flip my legs and my arms until i touched the ground. When i stopped, the water was just 1 feet high. And my brother was looking at me and said "Did you just drowned?" O, it was embarrassing.
Swimming in shallow water. Kind of reminding me of my high school orientation week, when the seniors asked me to swim on the water ponding on the concrete slab. It was embarrassing, but i didn't hold any grudge towards my seniors. We had a good laugh afterwards. My friend had a tougher challenge, he was asked to stick onto the wall like a frog. He keep falling for a few times before he finally did it right. I laughed until my stomach hurt, just as he did while i was swimming on the floor.
Anyway, found these photos of wave surfing on internet. I thought if i saw these photos i would forget the fear of drowning. But it didn't. It just act like a catalyst, adding more fear. I started to have thoughts like, what if the big wave fall onto me? What if i drifted until i was in the middle of the sea? Of course i would try to swim for the shore but the wave will keep me from coming.
I wonder what is he thinking at that moment?
I know what this guy think, it must be, "i will make it through, hiyaarrgghhh!"
I bet a penguin surfer will come out from that anytime soon, Cody Maverick maybe?
I keep the above photo as my wallpaper. So every time i see it, my heart will beat faster, and i will know for sure that i am terrified of the sea.
