Happy All Souls' Day everyone.
I'm back to my hometown today. I never thought that one day, November 2nd, would matters so much to me. It has been 2 years now since my father passed away. Yet, still it feels just like yesterday. Trying to live the first year without him was the hardest part of all when he had always been my rock. It was then, when i started to disgust hope, faith and most importantly God. I was angry at God so much that i wish He will condemn me so i will cease to exist. Well, i am not angry with God now as i have back then. I don't know when the feeling receded. I guess i just stop feeling. I block God from entering to my life. I stop going to church and i stop talking to God. I have friends coming at me asking me to give God a chance, as of letting Him once again into my life. But i resent it. So now i have been living without God for almost 2 years now. Maybe He still here for me, or maybe not, i don't care. I admit that living without any faith to hold on to can be very lonely sometimes. But at least, there will no one or nothing will let me down.
How do you let go without good bye?
