So i was looking at this old photos, some of it i digitalised so it'll last forever. I don' know what went over me but the moment i looked at my youngest brother photos back when he's still a baby, i started to cry. I didn't even cried when i looked at my father's photos and he's long gone. There is just something pure and innocent about babies and kids. My baby brother was 16 when my father passed away. I do not know how he cope with that, and i didn't even have any idea how that affected him. Few months after that, he quit school, went into a lot of fights, and now finally, he's working as adults do. I guessed that's what breaks me. Maybe. Heck, i don't know. Nowadays, i seem to cry a lot, especially when watching movie. Last night i even cried watching Toy Story 2 & 3. Nothing is wrong with me, right?
I also realized something when i looked at my younger self, back when i was half of my current weight, when i was in my prime, i didn't even have a single shoot of nice smile. I have long accepted the fact that i'm not one of those lucky people who are born photogenic. But at least i should have one shoot of descent smile right? But no. Not me. I always caught in either eyes half closed, mouth open, laughing with closed eyes. Even in group photos. Everybody look fine but me.
So last night, i brought both of my palm together and say to God, "God, if you really is there and you are God who hears prayers, please God, in my next life please give me a dashing smile and a pair of killer dimples, nothing much, just something like Kate Middleton maybe".
"Amen"
