My New Year Theme Song

Here is a disturbingly cute Song & Video.

I used to tease my sister obsession of KPOP all the time. She's just hopeless when it comes to the Korean boy bands and their cute moves. And overtime i, too, finally succumbed to those cuteness.

Well, wont life a bit dull without KPOP?

2012 Resolutions

Until a few days ago i have been worrying that i wont have enough time to myself to review 2011 and prepare for 2012. Now that all distractions warded off and i'm finally at ease, i can really sit down and prepare for next year battle.

Unlike 2011's resolutions, 2012's will be slightly different than the usual. I mean, there's been a change of course in direction. Instead of steering toward achievements, 2012 will be all about CONTENTMENT.

So, what i wish for myself in coming year?

1) Free of Debts

I want to live as a free man. I'm gonna strive to pay off all my debts. Then, cancel all credit cards but one. Take no loan. Buy no insurance. And save more. So that at the end of every month, i only have to pay utilities bill, food, and fuel for my car. Well, except for the house loan, i'll be owing nobody.

2) Organize My Will

Not that i have a lot to give away, but still i do have some. I have seen enough cases where families fell apart due to unassigned inheritances. I wont have that ugly scenes after i died. Besides, will preparation is not just about property and money. There's funeral instruction need to be sort out. As for me, after giving it a deep thought, i have decided to go for a cremation, and after that i wish for my ash to be scattered on the sea. Not because i'm terrified of the idea rotting underground, or that i'm sentimental, but rather because i don't want to have any attachment to my former vessel. Most importantly, i don't want people to look at my grave and be sad. It's okay to tear when you miss somebody. But to cry and felt sorry for the deceased is just sadly foolish. And i hates foolish people.

3) More Charity

Yeah, got to do that more. Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that i got one pure clean bleached pink heart, but it's just logic. You'll reap what you sow. There's no joking with Karma. And to make things scarier, the Payback equation is equipped with some weird conversion factor, which easily amplify the punishment. So, my advice is, rather than counting your blessings, why not start counting your good deeds instead?

4) No more Hatred

As i have told you before, i have a friend whom turned enemy to me in the past. Well, i hope that by the end of 2012 my hatred for her would be diminished. I have no idea of how i'm going to achieve that, because right now i'm nothing but a sleeping super-volcano. I haven't gone amok (yet), but from the surface you can already hear the rumbling sound from beneath, a little earthquakes here and there, and on some unfortunate days you might even see my wrath start emitting smokes. Even so, the good side of me still want to stop the imminent eruption for good. It's very tiring to be angry all the time. I want the good old days back.

5) Find Love

Cliche? Let's not define love. I still don't know what i'm searching for, but i had a feeling that i'll know when i get there. Right now, all i know is that i have this emptiness that needed to be filled. Don't we all have that? It's a pretty common thing. But i'm not just going to sit and wait for it to come to me. This time i will put tons of efforts in. A friend once told me that the reason for the empty feeling was because God's absent in my life. I don't know what to make of that. Let's just wait and see.

My New Year ritual would be just the same as the year before, that is to fall asleep before midnight and wake up noon the next day. So, yeah! I'm excited for tonight!

Happy New Year everyone.

Shedding the Extra Project # Week 9

I was delaying the update on purpose. And this morning while taking my bath, i even tried to brainstorm excuses but couldn't find anything useful. I thought of using the "Christmas is the time to be merry" bluff but that just sound pathetic.

In the end i give up whatever resorts. I'm fooling nobody but myself, right? The reason why i have been dreading the weighing was because last week i have been doing nothing but eating recklessly. Eat and sleep, that's all i have done. Especially on Christmas day itself. It's like Sloth and Gluttony found their way to each other heart. Yeah, it was that bad. I felt dirty myself.

So this morning i was preparing for the worst. I took out the scale, removed all my clothing, and get on the small circular glass plate. Numbers start to run fast, back and forth, slowing down, stabilizing, stop a sec, flashed 3 times, and then nothing moves. It's final. No matter how many time i get up and down the scale, the outcome still the same. My usual would be 3 times. Just to be sure, you know.

Okay, back to the result. My first reaction was "huh". Despite all last week's eating, i actually still manage to lose 1.4 lbs.

Weird right? Smell something? A fish may be. So i listed all the things that could go wrong. 1) The scale must be broken. 2) My body is slow to process the fat. 3) The 'effect' would only be visible next week. Drat, that's my time of the month. 4) I was still dreaming when i do the weighing, thus the error.

The conclusion is, i cannot rest easy. I had to be skeptical so i won't be fooled.

Since this is the last update of this year, the project would be summarized as follows;

Total loss week # 9 = 1.4 lbs

Accum. loss up to date = 23.4 lbs

Time spent = 9 weeks

Next update due next year.

A thousand years

Heard this song on MTV the other day. And it had me captivated right on.

Damn, why does this song has to be so beautiful?



Please tell me that is not true. Please tell me that human is incapable of such love. A thousand years is an eternity long. It's just too much.

Christmas and me

I was about to doze off just now when the calendar caught my eyes. Then it hit me. Christmas is actually on this Sunday. Which means Christmas is at the end of this week. And that is 2, err..no, 1 day from today. Yikes. Christmas is on the day after tomorrow!!!

I guess that explained the conversation i had with the cleaning lady this morning. And i thought she was just being weird.

But when i think about it, it is actually weird. I'm the only 'Christian' in the entire office, yet i'm always the one who stayed behind on Christmas. Not weird enough? How about the fact that every year without failing, my office will be decorated with glittering ornaments, blinking lights and Christmas tree with fake presents beneath, for the entire month of December? And not once i helped with the decoration. But maybe that's the thing with Christmas. It makes people happy and merry. Heck, even my office is merrier than my house.

As for me, just like last year, i'm gonna make a pass on Christmas. I'm not gonna use the "not in the mood for Christmas" excuse, cause that's just lame. The mood is always there. It just need to be stirred by something.

Mine is an entirely different case. The fire is dead. It's too late that it can't be saved anymore.

Soon, we'll be like strangers, Christmas and me.

Shedding the Extra Project # Week 8

There's NOTHING to report today, for i did not lose a single pound last week. Did i saw that coming? Surprisingly, yes. Last week i have been eating recklessly almost everyday. And i wont stop eating until the 1200 calories limit was breached. I felt like i have won and proved my points, but in the end, the joke was on me. Why i did what i did? No reason. Just cause.

To be honest, i actually have been feeling a bit down lately. To be specific, it was an emptiness that i felt. I googled the word and found out that emptiness feeling is actually a kind of depression. That startled me. And to make matter worst, it also says that depression is somehow categorized as an illness. I mean i was feeling a little bit suicidal but it's not like i'm really gonna go for it. Even though my mind messed up, my logic hardly flinched.

As for the non-conformance result, i decided to let it go, for this time only. Because today is truly a special day. All wrongs will be forgiven. At least for me.

What's the occasion?

Haven't you heard?

KIM JONG IL IS DEAD!

It maybe too soon to burn the firecrackers and perform the lion dance, for the North Korea future is still uncertain, but at least the snake has vanished for good.

Shedding the Extra Project # Week 7

I have been so busy lately, thus the delay in my updates. I finished all my works this morning and quickly handed it to my boss for checking. As usual, he didn't comment anything (yet). But most of the time i've done a good job, i think. So, well done to me. Heh, i'm praising my own self. Openly, in a broad day light. You know what? I'm not ashamed because i truly deserved it.

Last Saturday my boss called me to his office and asked me to do a construction work programme for a new upcoming project. He just gave me 1 page of the Development Plan and said, "Do it in Microsoft Project and i need it next Friday". The thing about work programme is that it has to cover everything, from land acquisition to testing and commissioning, you can not miss a thing, not even a nail. And timing is the most crucial part, it's like deciding which wire to cut to detonate the bomb. I have to lay down a step by step transformation plan of a deserted place until it become the next hangouts. So, me and a work programme? Nah, i didn't even blink. I am perfectly capable delivering a good work programme in Excel format. But i never tried to build a work programme from scratch using Microsoft Project before. But then, when my boss said "jump", i jumped.

After that i returned to my seat, and the first thing i did was, google "how to use microsoft project". And this morning, a fine Thursday morning indeed, i put on my 'tsk' face and marched to my boss office, carefully placed on his desk the 12 pages of A3 size proposed construction work programme for our next project. Give me a handful of coal and i'll give you back a diamond. Heh..this is me smirking. For now.

Back to business. Let's talk about serious stuff now. Like the update of week #7 maybe. Ahemm. Excuse me for a second. Let me put on my court robe first. I'm gonna pretend i didn't the wig, of course. Whose side i'm on you say? Today i'm a defense attorney. My client is accused of treachery for taking her vocation lightly. On what ground? Based on the fact that she only managed to lose 1.8 lbs last week.

There's nothing wrong with just 1.8 lbs, i tell you. It's plural enough to me. And if that still doesn't convince the judge, i can always challenge the competency of the measuring device.

I know the goal is to lose 1 kilo per week. That equal to 2.2 lbs per week. So, i'm still short of 4 lbs. 4 lbs could easily weigh like 2 cups of water. Since water is denser than fat, you should see that now the 2 cups are not enough to contain 4 lbs of body fat. It should be overflowing in a gross kind of way.

In the end, it all come down on how to get rid of the 4 lbs. Using the magic formula 1 lb = 3500 calories (and you thought Einstein's e=mc2 was the champion),

4 lbs = 14,000 calories = 24 hours running on treadmill

Isn't that absurd? Even a stallion could die from the run. You understand now right? Did that gained me your favour?

Anyway, sheesshh now.

All rise.

The court now is in session.

Shedding the Extra Project # Week 6

Here's an update for week no# 6. I'll make it a short one. Can't talk long about 'shedding' cause it's too depressing. So, last week loss were about 2 pounds. Pathetic huh? Can't even make it to a kilo. Anyway, total accumulated loss up to-date are 20.2 pounds. I've seen a guy lose more than 20 pounds in just one week in the Biggest Losser shows.

Pitiful. Puny. Useless. Hopeless. Stupid. Vain. Weak. Scrap. Lifeless. Lazy. Ass. Slow. Dummy.

And then there were two..

After months of being relentless, i finally agreed to let go of Roxy and Miki to my two aunts. They have been pestering me of the matter the moment they knew about Kimi's pregnancy. I know i should be grateful that there are somebody who are more than willing to adopt the kittens. And the facts that they are relatives and trustworthy, are definitely the score points. I was hesitant to hand them over because i felt that it is inappropriate to separate the kittens from it's parents and siblings. Moreover, i was already attached to them. I had named each one of them for god's sake. How is that not obvious enough to show that i had no intention to give up any of the kittens, ever?

I was doing fine shooting down all plea until my mother decided to step in. "Don't be selfish" she said. 3 simple words, just like that, she unknowingly tossed away the harmless burning matchstick into an ocean of petrol. Of course i would flared up. How would you feel if i asked you to handover your first born? Don't tell me it's different. It's exactly the case.

In the end i yielded though. For blood will always be thicker than water. I asked my mother to remind both of my aunts that should one day their affections for Kimi's offspring turn sour, i shall want them returned to me. Doesn't matter whether they're sick, old or dying, i will have them back, just don't disregard them. Then my mother assured me, "You worry for nothing. When your cousin knew that Roxy was coming home with your aunt, she quickly put away her 2 months old baby in the crib and rushed to the door to meet Roxy. They all are cat lovers"

So now i'm left with Frankie and Troy. I'm so gonna spoil them and cherished them dearly. Kittens are the best. Even a robot would cracked a smile when mixed with kitten.

Frankie fell asleep on the couch. He's the naughtiest and the wildest. At first i thought it almost impossible to touch him. I always shriek when i play with him. His playful bites may seems frolic but the pain is no joke. Anyone who are bold and stubborn enough to brush off my warnings of Frankie will always find themselves acquiring new adornment in the next morning. No one was spared. Not even me. I, too, both of my hands are full of bites and scratch marks, compliments from Frankie.

Troy, my darling Troy. Mon petit ange chéri. He's always the star in everywhere he go. It's impossible to ignore him. One won't blink in his present because he is disturbingly cute. He is the gentlest creature i ever met, and without doubt the warmest life i have ever been blessed with. Who need therapist when you have cute kitten like Troy? I can't even get mad (about anything) when he's around me. I mean, look at him! It's insanely adorable, right? Now, try imagine when those eyes opened and perked up. I know, right!? I could die in admiration.

Shedding the Extra Project # Week 5

I know this update is a bit late, but yesterday was a public holiday, and so is blogging (my rules). So, here it is. But before that, just so you know, doing this update is a bit stressful for me. Especially when it has been a bad week. Do you get where i'm going with this?

I saw the stories of people who survived misfortunes at National Geographic channel, they said "just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, well, they do".

I thought 2.8lbs at Week 4 was bad. Well, try this, 1.6lbs at Week 5.

I'm not gonna create excuses to defend myself this time. I'm not even gonna blame the weather (although, most of the time il pleut des cordes!) for not being supportive. This time, my shields are down, and i'm gonna take all the blows.

Shedding the Extra Project # Week 4

I'm not really in the mood to talk about the shedding project right now. But since my mum already on the subject (yes, she's doing a weekly checking on me), i figured why don't i update my progress at once so i can be done with it. Okay, so last week i've only lost 2.8 lbs. Accumulated loss to-date 16.6 lbs. I don't have any explanation for the 2.8 lbs. And i don't know where i did wrong. Never once i cheated last week, and i never, ever, even once went over my calories limit. I have been nothing but true to my course.

So, what went wrong, then? If you'd asked me, i'd blame the weather. Last week, most of the days have only been either cloudy or raining. When it's not raining, the sky would look grey. And grey sky makes me passive. There's just something melancholy about grey sky. In that weather, i tend to listen to sad songs, read sad poems, or just lie in my bed and do nothing. And when the night fall i wouldn't turn on the lights cause i feel calm in the dark. So i believe all that lead to the slowing of my metabolism.

And, the weather forecast for this week doesn't look good either!

My affairs with pirates

So, i downloaded this apps called 'Pirates In Love' to my iphone few days ago. If you must know me, i'm the kind of people who you'll always find lingering around the "free stuff" section. But let me warn you in advance that where i'm going with this does not have a happy ending.

99% of the time, the free stuff is not that free. Yeah, believe me. I know. They're very cunning indeed. And so it is with the Pirates In Love apps. The only thing free in the apps is the Prologue. And i have just the right vice that makes me fell right into the trap. My curiosity is just as bad as the cat's.

I can't stand the feeling of not knowing something. It was bad enough that the relief to my ache is right in front of my eyes, which was just a click away, that each character has different story and need to be purchased separately. It's $3.99 per character. In USD, of course!

So, did i clicked it? What's the odds that i wouldn't? Like zero percent, maybe. The apps is a simulation game. It's a story about a girl who accidentally boarded a pirates ship. From there she'll experiences many adventures and eventually she'll fell in love with one of the pirates.

At the end of the prologue, i was to choose a roommate for the girl. My first instinct was to go for the nicest pirate, and that would be the doctor, Christoper. Little did i know that the girl would fall in love with her roommate. It's logic. To think of it, we actually do have the tendency to fall in love with the person whom we spend most of our time with.

My not-so-happy ending was when i end up downloading all of the character. It was reckless of me, but i can't help it, i just got to know. There are no way i can sleep through any nights and move on with life if i don't know the ending.

Overall, i would say this apps is definitely entertaining. It is pricey, of course. There's no denying to that. But i think it worth the unusually good mood and smile you'll be having afterwards. By the way, of all the pirates, i like Nathan's game the best.

And did i mentioned that they'll write to you once a while through the episodes? Check out Eduardo's last letter after the Super Happy Ending. I almost fell off my chair when i read that. I'm not sure how to react to that. I mean should i laugh? or should i cry? or barf? roll over the floor, maybe?

But i know one thing for sure, that there's a tickling in my stomach!

Another love sick song

Well, Il Divo brought me to Celine Dion's song, Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore. Translated as So That You Love Me Still. I prefer Celine's version because it is more softer.

The song is about a girl pleading to a man that has left her for another, to love her still. She's desperate for him to come back up to the point that she's willing to resort to black magic.

The lyrics are so beautiful. It touched my heart right on the spot. Is all french songs this poetic?



The best translation i found on the web is here. Check out some of the lyrics. My favorite part.

J’irai chercher ton coeur si tu l’emportes ailleurs
Même si dans tes danses d’autres dansent tes heures
J’irai chercher ton âme dans les froids dans les flammes
Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m’aimes encore...

Je trouverai des langages pour chanter tes louanges
Je ferai nos bagages pour d’infinies vendanges
Les formules magiques des marabouts d’Afrique
J’les dirai sans remords pour que tu m’aimes encore...

Je m’inventerai reine pour que tu me retiennes
Je me ferai nouvelle pour que le feu reprenne
Je deviendrai ces autres qui te donnent du plaisir
Vos jeux seront les nôtres si tel est ton désir
Plus brillante plus belle pour une autre étincelle
Je me changerai en or pour que tu m’aimes encore



I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else
Even if when you dance, others are dancing with you
I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame
I'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still

I'll find other languages to sing your praises
I'll pack our bags for the fields of eternal harvests
I'll say those magic words spoken by African healers
I'll say them with no regrets, so that you love me still

I'll make myself a queen so that you don't leave me
I'll make myself new so the fire starts again
I'll become like those other women who make you happy
Your games will be our games, if that's what you desire
I'll make myself brighter, more beautiful, to rekindle the spark
I'll turn myself to gold, so that you love me still

Now, where do i find someone that'll say those words to me? Hmmm.

My melancholy song

I'm not finish with Il Divo.

Listen to them singing the song Caruso.



This song crush my heart. Makes me want to go hide inside the closet and cry until there's no more tears.

Shedding the Extra Project # Week 3

I must say last week was not pretty. Temptations lurking everywhere. My office threw a BBQ party to celebrate the completion of one project and i can not escaped. Actually i could if i want to, but then that'll be rude. I have to give my boss a face. So, i gave in. I took 5 skewered chickens because that's the most normal quantity to avoid suspicions and questions. And i thought it was the best chicken i ever had in my life. After that, life went back to normal, i carried on my diet, until the weekend arrived. I thought weekend's diet would be the easiest but i was dead wrong. You see, i was doing fine by eating only green apples while reading book on my bed until my neighbour start cooking lunch. It was horrific. To make the matter worst, i can even tell that they're frying chicken marinated in lemon and soy sauce! I was drooling the entire time. It was not pretty and even St. Bernard look prettier than me.

So, last week i lost 5.2 lbs. Total accumulated pounds lost to date would be 13.8 lbs. I actually had a good feeling about this. At least giving up was not one of my concerns anymore. In the near future, i can see one of the problem i had to face is clothing. Even now all my pants are starting to feel wobbly. And nothing i dread more than buying an entire new wardrobe. Call me stingy but i hate spending my hard earn cash on clothing. To me, buying new clothes when i'm still covered with one and while few are hanging in my wardrobe, would be the most pointless purchase ever. I'm the girl that have only 2 pants and regulates between them for a year. Yeah, i'm THAT stingy.

Anyway, for the 4th week of this project, i'm thinking of adding some very minor and light exercises to the equation. But i wouldn't count much on that because exercising is obviously my all time nemesis. What ever it is, we'll see.

Wish me Gambatte Kudasai!

It's Saturday!

Yay! Saturday has always been my favorite day of the week. Why? Because Sunday is my day off. So tonight i'm going to do all the stupid crazy things that i've been putting on hold. Sorry, let me correct that. Actually, i don't have anything crazy on my list. Me, crazy? Like that ever going to happen. I'm always the reasonable one.

So, my theme song for today, it's by Lloyd, Dedication to My Ex. This song is really funky. I could easily forget that i'm still in the office and start moving to the beat. O, i can't wait till it's 5 pm. So i can go home and perform my silly dance to this song. It's a good work out songs too.

According to healthstatus.com, i could burn up to 500 calories for an hour dance. And that 500 calories equal to 4 whole chicken wings of KFC Original Recipe. See, there's a new definition for penance in gluttony.

Have you seen the video? I mean, my god, the girl in the black leather is so hot. And she looks like Alicia Keys too, right? When she did the meowing gesture, i swear i almost howl.

Love, where art thou?

I can't stop obsessing over Il Divo! Guess, who is my favorite? It's the guy from Spain, Carlos. His deep vibrato sends chill to my bones and for a moment there, i forgot to breathe.

And when they sing of love, it break through many layers, and touch your soul to the core. It makes me believe that there is a great love such as that.

Il Divo is no doubt heaven sent.

Shedding the Extra Project # Week 2

It's the hardest week of all. I'm not exaggerating this but i felt like i have already been dieting for 100 years. I know it has only been 2 weeks. So i shouldn't fret much. But last week really has been kind of tough on me. I don't have problem to curb my hunger and desire for food. In fact, a few times this week i failed to meet the 1200 calories per day target.

My problem is, it start to occur to me that life has no meaning if i can't go on eating leisurely. So, i start questioning my goal. Debate the importance of it. Argue the reasons. Belittle every goodness that i could possibly profit from it.

Then, in the end, i managed to come up with a list of reasons of why i shouldn't lose weight. And i'm afraid that i find it pretty convincing.

But don't worry, cause i'm not ready to accept defeat. Besides, i'm pretty sure that my mom won't let me off that easily.

Anyway, last week i lost 3.6 lbs. Accumulated weight lost 8.6 lbs.

My period started last week. People say that you tend to gain weight during menstruation because of bloating and water retention. So, i expect to lose more next week.

What the cat dragged in

Well, well, well...

I have just got back to civilization today, and i realized the world has become a little bit more interesting in the past few days. What am i referring to? Well, of course i'm talking about Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian news flash, what else could it be?

Reading the headline "Justin Bieber a daddy?" definitely crack the first smile on my face this morning. A 20 years old girl claiming to have give birth to 17 years old Justin Bieber's child. To me, it only comes down to either the girl is a delusional pyscho or that Justin Bieber missed the sex education class. Up until now Justin hasn't denied anything but just shrugged off the claim, makes me wonder whether the girl is just bluffing. If what she wants is Justin's attention, then i'm pretty sure that her name will be forever imprinted in Justin's brain. He has every right not to entertain the request for paternity test. Why should he? Because if he is to heed to this one request, why not do the same for the other hundreds girl that been with him ever since?

For me, false allegation is worse than murder. It's the lowest of the lowest. You think that one who had been falsely accused would be justified once the truth is out? If you think so then you are clueless. No amount of money would ever compensate the damages justly. Once broken it will never look the same.

I had a brother who had been wrongly accused of raping before, so i know both the talk and the walk. The girl just have to lift her finger and point to destroy my brother's life. He was put to jail without bail for 7 days. Police searched our house as if we're hiding terrorist. And i don't even want to describe the terror in our neighbours face. How can you say you don't when people already decided you do? Eventually, the DNA test result come out, the truth revealed and my brother now a free man. Sounds like a happy ending, right?

But the reality is, the charge was dropped because there was never a case. The girl aka the accuser came to our house a few days before my brother was released. She apologized and explained her real intention. She made up the story of how my brother had compromised her and told her parents that, hoping her parents will confront my brother to take responsibility and marry her right away. And no matter how much efforts you tried to make the word "touch" to sound nice, the suspicious brains will always find a way to translate it as an attempted rape. Yes, don't be shocked, there are still people with this kind of mind set living among us to this day. Believe me, dinosaur may extinct but they don't.

The visible damages may seemed minor. 1 week pay burned. Reputation. Sometimes in the future when another case such as this occurred, guess who's the 1st to be doubt? But to me all that are insignificant compared to the mental damaged on my brother. When i told my brother the next move is his to counter attack, he said he simply lazy to create another case. He looked at the whole experience as just his bad luck. His words are, "don't be nice to just anybody, cause some might just take it wrong".

Anyway, that end the Justin Bieber topic. So now let us talk about Kim's 72 days marriage. At first when i heard the news i was so outraged, i felt cheated and i felt like i want to yell to somebody. I may not a fan of marriage but i honour the holy institution of marriage. So when Kim announced divorce just a few weeks after i watched her Fairytale Wedding on TV, i was so angry because she makes marriage looks like a joke. I even made a mental note to thank her for contributing strong points in the future "why i don't marry" discussion with my mother. But then after a while when the voices in my head quiet down, i decided to shift my angle and change my perspective. I don't really like to say this out loud, but once i tried putting myself in her shoes, i can't help but start to admire her guts. She has her own fair share in love. And i'm sure all broken hearts hurt just about the same. Still, she never give up. Yesterday she cried, today she laugh, by tomorrow she's ready to trust again. She is too generous with love, and i think that's her flaw, the same flaw which makes her everyone's sweetheart.

I did a compatibility reading using Kim and Kris chinese animal sign, Kim born year of monkey and Kris born year of the rat, the result was spectacular. Their combination supposed to be fireworks.

Things must have gone wrong somewhere. And there's only 2 people in the world know what is it. So, i don't want to speculate anything, nor did i want to hear what others have in mind.

Is it silly for me to hope that both of them, Kim and Kris, to reconcile?

Even so, i still wish that they would find their way back to each other's heart, just like how they found each other the first time. I hope both of them realized that whatever it is standing in their way to keep them apart is nothing but a monster created by their own mind which they led to believe.

I believe that we are the master of our own destiny. No one can make you do the things you don't want to do. There's always a choice. You just have to be bold with it.

And there is no such thing as "it's too late". Time was never an enemy. Time is what trigger you and drive you forward. So long as you still feels your pulse, there's always time.

So, Kris Humpries, i plead to you, kindly please be the bigger person and start the mending work now. Cause the only thing that matters is who you're coming home to at the end of the day.

And Kimberly, i believe you married for love, your face tells it all, couldn't be more obvious than that. People make mistakes every time. Did you know that aside from love, it is also normal to hate, doubt, mad, envy and do only the negatives? It's the only way to be human. But human's best quality is they're also capable of a great love, the one that conquers all things, surpasses all understanding. It's not a myth. So, what you say? How about giving it one more chance? Blame the PMS if you must, but you got to start patching now.

They're are happy together, that's all that matters.

Shedding the Extra Project # Week 1

The moment of truth. Are you excited to know the progress i've made? But first thing first. You should probably know that besides the diet pills, i also have been watching my calories intake. I downloaded a calorie counter apps to my phone to help me to keep my goal in check. And according to the awesome apps, i should take up to 1200 calories per day. If i go any lower than that, my body will think i'm in a starvation, thus it will slow my metabolism and burn fat slower. Hmm.. our body has a mind of it's own. I can't decide whether i find that is one amazing fact, or creepy.

The pill help me to control my hunger, but that doesn't mean i stop desiring food. So, during the days when temptations roaming around the town, i may, or may not have cheated. And don't you dare judge me!

Yes. Okay, i'll admit it!

I've sinned.

I have laid with the filthy and disgusting TOBLERONE.

I swear it's a one time thing only. And it was not entirely my fault. It was the Toblerone who seduce me first. It took advantage of me when i'm at my most vulnerable. In fact, i'm the victim here. That night when i open my fridge with the intention of looking for an apple, there in the 2nd shelf the Toblerone lying in the corner looking lonely and cold. So the humanity in me reach out to share some of my warmth.

I don't know if it was the rain or the music playing at that moment, but something wicked was definitely in the air that night because the moment i had it in my hand, everything else went black. When my conscious finally come back to me, it was already too late.

Anyway, in the past 7 days, i have lost 5 lbs.

Will update again next week.

Adagio

I may not have musical talent of any sorts but i do sure have a good pair of ears to know what good music sound like.

Shedding the Extra Project

Earlier this year, i made a promise to myself that i want to lose weight. I didn't specify how much i want to lose, as long as there's something been shed i'd be quite happy with myself. But before we go further into the topic, let straight some things out. In terms of losing weight, i would like to use the unit 'pounds'. But to describe the remaining weights i prefer to use 'kilos'. For your info, 1 kilogram equal to 2.2 pounds. Give me a break, would you? I'm an insecure overweight girl. There, you have it. The hardest confession i ever made in my entire life.

Moving on, so the year coming to an end, and i still haven't shed a single pound. I don't know whether i'm rather ignorant or lazy to care. But then i still have the conscience to honour the resolution i've made. So i consulted my mom. She suggested diet pills for me in order to restrain my desire for junk food. When she handed me the pills in little packets my first question was, "where's the box?". Second was, "where's the instruction paper?". And third was, "is this even safe?". And she answered like she wasn't even listening to my question, "it's Taiwanese and it works".

So, i assume mother knows best. If i never come back to update this blog in the future, you should probably know that i'm no longer walk upon the earth. But let's hope not.

Anyway, today is the 2nd day of this shedding project. So far, i have been passing gas and burp-ping a lot. I guess i no longer feeling bloated like i normally did. That's a good sign, right?

I will update my progress again after a week. So, wish me luck.

Goldie

Mr and i went to a pet shop yesterday. We are thinking of adopting a dog. But i was a fool to think that walking into a pet shop was just a simple act of getting an idea of what you getting into. It's not. It's a huge step, indeed. Because the minute i open the door and stepped in, i was already in love with a golden retriever. It was love at first sight.

As soon as i was in the shop, i broke Ceasar Millan's first rule of dog introduction. He said many times in his shows, "no touch, no talk and no eye contact". And i did just that. But can you blame me for being bewitched by a golden retriever? And the moment i locked eyes with her, i already know what i should name her. Goldie. Not because she is a golden retriever and nicknamed golden. But because she reminded me of Goldie Hawn. The similarity was in their eyes, which reminded me of merriment and warm cookies.

I always think that i must have been a dog in one of my past lives. Why? Because i have soft spot for dog and cat fascinates me. I can imagine myself as a dog in my past life, talking to a cat whom i desperately long to touch, "wait till i become a human and i will own you".

If it weren't for i'm still living in an apartment, i would have already bring Goldie home with me yesterday. I expect to get the keys to my new home soon. Only then i can bring her home with me. And i think my cat Miau would get along just fine with her. Did i told you that my cat is the smartest cat in the world? Well, it's true.

He may not mixing well with other cats, and people call him crazy for running around the house like a ghost was chasing him, but i refused to believe that, because i know that he is exceptional. He was not able to get along with other cats because he's above them all. He is not just plain ordinary cat. He's intelligent, he's trainable, he understand me and most of all, he's down to earth kind of cat.

Every time he come back from outdoor, i just give him one look and he know that he's not allowed to get on my bed until i said so. And i just need to tap my lap twice when i want him to come to me. Even my vet said that he's special. While other cats would normally go to sleep within minutes after given anesthetic and will vomit as soon as they wake up, my Miau don't. So my vet advised me to get some heir out of him before i get him neutered. But i don't think i can handle another 10 of him.

And remember Nightfury from How To Train Your Dragon? Nightfury's eyes reminds me of Miau eyes.

Now, i have been yapping more than i intended to. I changed the topic from Goldie to Miau without realizing it. But what can i do?

People do silly things when they're in love, right?

Back to reality

For the first time in my life, i feel my 1 week vacation is too short. The last time i was in Bali i couldn't wait to go back on the 3rd day. Now i feel like i could even spent a month there. I say that Bali has a way getting to your heart.

And now that i'm back, look what i brought home! Not lice or bug bites.

It's Keith Urban madness!

Definitely my kind of man.

Damn you Nicole Kidman. You better be living happily ever after.

New case for my iphone 4

Isn't this freakingly cute?

I got this at Discovery Mall. Cost me only Rp. 100k. Approximately RM 35. Mad cheap, right? In Sandakan a plain looking iphone cover will easily cost over a hundred ringgit.

Blast in Bali

On my 4th day in Bali, there's a carnival at the beach.

I'm so damn in love with Bali!

Still breathing

I was in Tirta Empul Temple when the earthquake hits Bali yesterday.

And i didn't felt a thing. So did the other tourist around me. After i got out of the temple, our driver asked me if i was shaken by the earthquake, only then i realized there was one.

And will this stop me from having fun?

Apparently, no.

My Bali Affair

I never knew that heart can grow wings in Bali.

I'm in love..

with Kuta Beach.

Boomerang

I think at some points of our life, we all must have felt like a boomerang sometimes.

At least, once.

I was. Both, the thrower and the boomerang.

This song reminds me of one episode from 'How I Met Your Mother' series. The one features Carrie Underwood. That particular episode called 'Hooked'.

And according to the episode, hooked is a euphemism for stringing along someone's interest in you until someone better is available.

Well, i think keeping someone (whom you think not good enough for you) to your self when you don't reciprocate their feeling is just mean. It's better to let them go and move on.

Naming my kittens

Here are photos of them at 7 weeks age

This is Troy.

Roxy.

Miki.

Frankie.

This is just my mother orchid.

Here are shots of Troy while he's sleeping. I cannot help but to disturb him.

Sleepy kitten always makes me smile.

Intensity

Thanks to Justin Bieber i found this VERY TALENTED musician on Youtube. Check out his cover for Baby. Oh, don't be skeptical, would you? It's only instrumental.



Now check him out playing all the instruments.

Freaking amazing, right? Now i know what kind of music i like. Anything with intensity.

Dream island

Photo taken from this website.

I can look at this and day dream whole day.

Hail to the King of Fruits!

This morning i told my friend in UK that now it's durian season in Sabah. She scold me for telling her that. My replied was, "yeah, must be sucks to be you right now".

I actually ate all of those by myself, without any help from anyone.

The taste of durian for me is indescribable. The words describing durian taste like 'custard flavored almond', or 'sweet raspberry blancmange', or 'honey caramel milk', does not even come close.

I always loved the moment when you had your first glimpsed on the durian flesh when opening the husk. And then, the first touch, when you take it in your finger, gently putting into your mouth, lips start ravishing, tongue began the tasting, your whole body sigh in appreciation and in that tick second your mind tells you that this is heaven on earth.

The fact that the famous TV bizarre food eater Andrew Zimmern described durian taste like "rotten mushy onions" astound me greatly. How can human with brain despised it so much? Not only squirrel, but even tiger loves durian.

I would say that, a world without durian fruits are dull.

My Precious

This is what i've been up today.

Finally, my own Ibanez.

So, are you ready for some Spanish Romance?

Enjoy.

Intelligent Topics for Intelligent Women

Saw this on Beijing's newspaper.

I only dig Haagen-Dazs. And i don't even like to talk about the star in my secret guilty pleasure affairs. Guess i'm not that intelligent, huh?

News update

from yesterday's talk.

Turn out my brothers don't need to go to jail after all. They appealed for 2nd time and pay only small amount of fines. What a wonderful law we have here huh? Everybody deserved a second chance. But then, they will have to submit their clean urine report every month for the next 2 years. That'll teach them something.

Happiness is..

when what you think, say and feel are in harmony

That's my friend's Skype status this morning.

Well, my thoughts, my feeling and my words are definitely not sitting in the same room. Mr. Thoughts and Mr. Feelings are sworn enemy, while Mr. Moutie Mouth is a world class back stabber. So in conclusion, i say that i'm not happy. But i'm not yet finish. I say, happiness must be when you become the ideal person whom others think you should be. Am i not right?

I wish death would come sooner. What's there to live if this life has no hope. Better finish this one course quickly and move on to the next, right? Funny thing is, i'm only 30 yet i feel like tomorrow would be my 120th.

Or, am i just this one of a kind insatiable creature? Yes, last time when i said i want to belong to someone, before the week's over i was already in a relationship. And now, all i want is, to be NOT in a relationship. I want to be alone and i want to belong to no one. I want to go to a cave and die there by myself.

And do you know what is the worst invention of all? Oh, it's not TV alright. It's family. Surprise? Yeah? Think about it. Only family will bring hell to you on earth. Why should you dive to the hell hole with the others when it's their choice to jump? It's not like you didn't told them NO, right? It always them who take you for granted, isn't it?

By the way, 2 of my brothers are going to jail tomorrow. For in possession of ice. Yeah, you heard that right. They could have appealed in the court by paying only fines. But then, they have mistaken the High Court for the courtyard in front of our house, so instead of arriving at the court at 8.30 am, they decided that the Judge should sit and wait for them and arrived at 10 am. So they were sentenced without them being there. And my mum text-ed me and ask me to perform miracles. I told her "what you want me to do?" When i'm working like a dog, they have the luxury to stay at home and smoke ice. When i was half hour early to office, they were an hour and half late to court. So what you want me to do? Would you be happy if i joined them in jail? I secretly would very much prefer life in jail than the life i'm living now. In jail i would have more time to meditate, reflect on my thoughts and to read books. Oh yes, i would love that. I love getting lost in those pages. And time shall be my friend instead of enemy. But then, when i'm gone, you don't think that money grow on trees, do you?

If you forget me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

by Pablo Neruda

p/s - ahh, leave me speechless every time.

Best break up song ever..

don't you think?

If i send this song to Mr would he get the hint? Hmm.. most probably not. He would just think that i'm sending him a nice song. Besides, he's a fan of Kelly Clarkson.

I wish it was autumn in Beijing

but it's not..

It was only the beginning of autumn. Here is my photos illustrated story when i was in Beijing.

It was 6 hours and a half flight to reach Beijing from KL.

Spotted something on the airplane window. Is that snowflakes?

Beijing Airport. Saw a policeman and an insanely adorable K9 on duty.

On the way to Great Wall in Badaling. Traffic jam due to accident (not surprised at all, i even think that all Beijingist should sign up for the Grand Prix after seeing their driving skill)

The driver offered me tidbits which he picked from the road side to keep me amused.

Finally we're moving again after stranded for more than half an hour.

Reached Badaling and took a tram to the Great Wall. Don't judge me. You should come here and see the Great Wall for your self. It was scarier than Mt. Kinabalu.

I didn't even have the guts to take more than one step from this point where i'm standing and taking picture. I know. I'm not proud of it. I should tell you that after i get down, i didn't even try to look at the shops selling souvenirs like T'shirts with writing "I CLIMBED THE GREAT WALL" on it.

View on my left.

View on my right. I'm content with just this. The view is beyond beautiful. I could just sit there, do nothing and only looking at the view all day. The Great Wall really did look like a serpent in the middle of those mountains.

After half a day at the Great Wall we went back to the city and checked in to the Crowne Plaza Hotel. The only score point for this hotel is that it is situated near to the Wangfujing area and within walking distance to Forbidden City. But i think it's too over priced. For price like that i could be treated like king in other place. And did you know that this so called 5 star hotel didn't have free wifi in the room? You have to dig deeper in your pocket to have the luxury of internet in your room. I have stayed in a no star hotel with free wifi 24 hours! The only free internet is the one at the lobby but with limitation. Meanings you can't surf Facebook, or Youtube or any other foreign website. How wonderful is that? F@#$*ing scammer!

Since we checked in late, we also had our lunch late. It's difficult to find restaurant after 2pm. So we have no choice but to go to KFC. And again, it was just a disappointment after disappointments. Maybe it was just me who are too picky but i feel that Beijing culinary failed to meet my expectations. In fact, i lose some weight when i'm here. Really.

Beautiful church on the way to Wangfujing shopping center. 3 times i pass through here, i saw 4 different couples taking their pre-wedding photos. Nice spot indeed.

Steel plates on the road to cover potholes (i suppose). And every time any vehicle pass through it, you would thought there were earthquakes.

Wavy building. It's a shopping center. The clothes i found here make my air tickets look shamefully cheaper.

Vertical shot of the church in Wangfujing. Right photo is the flower in my room. Thank God it was real flower. Our room need no perfume because the flower fragrant is all over the room.

Gold colour building still in construction. My guess this building will be painful to look at in the summer.

The street where money is your enemy.

I believe that this is Kapok Hotel. Steel frames covering the glass wall inside. Eccentric. Look gloomy though.

Art shop on the way to Forbidden City where i bought some paintings under a conscious mind.

Trolley bus to bring you right in front of the palace's South gate. In other words, it's the lazy bums way to go to the South gate. Not that i'm rather adventurous but it was super close. I will show you why.

Follow me please. From the same spot turn left and walk for about a hundred meters.

Then after you reached the corner end, turn and walk another 300m. With shadowy walkway like that and river scenery on your left, you'll be at the entrance gate at no time.

See, i told you!

We've passed the South gate and the first thing that strike me was.. would you look at that? Bicycles in the Forbidden City? If an emperor saw this those 2 peasants would be long gone. Anyway, back to business, the Forbidden City divided into 2 part, the Outer Court and Inner Court. Outer Court is comprised by number of halls where ceremonies will be held. Inner Court on the other hand is where the emperor and his empress and concubines residing. So one side of the city is boring stuff, and the other side is where the interesting stuff happens. But i wont tell you all that because this is not China 101. Let's just say there were empress gone nuts, suicide, sacrifices, basically all the normal wicked stuff.

Extravagant hall with impressive details on the ceiling. I've seen similar interlocking pattern in Japan's Meiji Jingu.

The deeper it is, the more exclusive it became.

The Emperor's throne. This is the best i can't get. The door to this view is only approximately 3 meters wide and here you have to push through thousands of tourist if want to to have a look at it. Well, i have traveled more than 5000 miles to get here, i'll be crazy not to push through the menial crowds. Did you see there's a guy squatting in front of the throne? It appear that there was a film shooting at that moment. Once again, a slap into the emperor's face. Don't know why i'm so furious about this. I just love history.

There's a fun thing to do when you're in the Forbidden City. In here, superstition is a joke. You start by touching something that look important or intriguing, like the above photo, and others will start copying you like an epidemic. Seriously, it's hilarious.

One of the court in 'expressive colour' mode. The building definitely looked younger. Too bad this mode only worked on buildings and not people.

Large stone carving. You suppose to see 9 dragons in there.

I don't know if this is suppose to be a lion or a tiger. Looked fierce though. But with that ball on it's paw, ribbon on it's neck and curled tail, hmmm.. a dog maybe?

Emperor's throne in another hall.

Last part of the palace is the Imperial Garden. Here all the trees looked like perfectly sculptured. And these particular trees on the above photo are special. Because of it's entwined branch on the top, the emperor believe it's a symbol of love. There's one particular emperor and empress had their photos taken right after their wedding underneath this very tree.

Finally the North door. Remember Karate Kids? The one with Jackie Chan and Jayden Smith? Now this is the time to touch something.

View of the North gate from outside.

After we finished with Forbidden City, we continue to Beihai Park. See that White Dagoba on top of the hill? I CLIMBED THAT! I'm so proud of my self.

It's a bell tower. Ring that 3 times and you'll be safe the whole year. It's way better than investing in insurance. Besides, it'll only cost you 3 yuan.

The Laughing Buddha. Not allowed to take photo inside. But i did rub his tummy. Hopefully he'll be more generous to me in the future.

Prayers.

Stairs to White Dagoba.

455 Buddhas on the dagoba.

A child on strike. He's mad about something, i guess.

Next stop is the Jingshan Park. A lovely park indeed. I sat on a bench for almost an hour and watch passers by. Saw this one old couple strolling the park together. The old man walking with a cane while holding hand with the limping old woman. My heart must be made of stone if i wasn't moved, right?

I broke one of many Jingshan Park rules, that is, by walking barefoot on the grass. I can't help it.

Another old couple on a date in the park. Along with the "no stepping on the grass" sign.

For me, one of the most fun thing to do when you're in another country, is to hit their convenient store. You can tell a lot about the people from their shopping list. It's like you caught a supermodel who just wash her face and no make up.

So, i think that conclude my story of Beijing.